Recently, I received a comment on a guest post that was both incorrect, factually speaking, and not very nice - I was called dangerous for proudly speaking about being a working mom. Out of respect for the owner of the site, I chose not to respond to this person's comment and not to call her out publicly. The owner did reply on my behalf and handled it amazingly well.
As for me, I mentioned it in jest on my Facebook page and the response was overwhelming. The outpouring of support from my followers was absolutely breathtaking! Then, a very old and dear friend of mine even addressed it in the form of a status on her personal page. That status, in and of itself, should be seen by EVERY.SINGLE.WOMAN, mother or not, in the whole entire world. So, I'm printing it here, with permission, for all to see: _________________________________________
Dear Women and Moms,
I write this status wholeheartedly. Feel free to delete me if it bothers you.
This is life. It's not a competition, marathon, or contest. It is LIFE. The fact that women feel the need to or pressure to validate themselves is sad. Why women critique another is absurd. You are not defined by your weight, color, marital status, or employment status. Your biggest influence in this world, this life, is the way you treat others and carry yourself as a human. Your house, clothes, hair, weight, job, etc., will mean nothing in the end. At your funeral, no one will talk of those things; for it won't matter. They will talk of the person you were and how you treated others.
A dear friend of mine has a blog, Mommy Needs A Martini, and was called "dangerous to moms and women." Why, you ask? Because she is a proud working mother of two. A peer, a fellow mom and blogger, believes that it is dangerous to promote a working mother's life. I am deeply disturbed that a mom would criticize another mom for working to provide for her children.
I beg of you: STOP! Do not feed into the stereotype that society has generated for you. You don't have to be the "perfect" wife, mom, friend, etc. You are enough. YOU. It doesn't matter if you are rich, poor or just getting by. It doesn't matter if you're fat, skinny or have a bubble butt. It doesn't matter if your clothes are from Prada or Target, you work or you stay at home. None of it matters.
What does matter is that you love your family and love your friends. Make beautiful memories. Be kind. Be compassionate. Leave behind a legacy to be proud of. The rest is garbage, I promise you. Your character will matter more in this life than anything else. Remember this the next time you judge a peer.
You can't buy character. You can only build it. So be kind. JUST BE KIND!
As if that wasn't enough to make my heart explode, the comments starting pouring in. Moms, Dads, friends, people with and without kids, showed their support of Emily's letter and of my blog:
Charlene M. Gold Well put & I second all that or I'm sure not even the second as so many of us wld agree! Beautifully expressed & downright to a good point! XO
Victoria Silva So lemme get this straight, someone put her down because she's a mother and works? That's horrible.
Diana Molinari The only people who are dangerous are ignorant people.
Diana Molinari Ps... The only thing that makes her dangerous is that she is a mom
Tiffany Kessler St Pierre Perfect words, perfect tone, and from the heart. Someone should discover you.
Victoria Silva I agree with Diana. Now her children will grow up thinking that that kind of ignorance it ok. I swear, the future of this world scares me... especially for my kids (when I eventually have them) when I won't be around. There're a lot of parents out there with little to half a brain. I wish there was some sort of IQ test (or maybe just one on common sense) people had to take before having children.
Carolina Quatela You couldn't be more right! I agree with you 100%. Shame on the self righteous hag who called your friend a dangerous mommy for being a working mom! Unbelievable! I found it (and to this day still find it) so sad that even though we're a part of something so major - motherHOOD - women insist on judging and competing with their fellow mommys. The word "Motherhood" implies a group, a commaderie of sorts but some (most) women take it to a level of "greater than thou" competing. That's why I tend to keep to myself. I'd rather go at it alone or with my sister and a few others, than be a part of a big clique of materialistic, judging moms. Preach on sister! (You should start a blog too!) Kudos my friend. Xo
Teresa Higgs You put a tear in my eyes. Well said. FYI, Zack has "Leave behind a legacy to be proud of" tattooed on his arm with Coop's bday.
Oscar A Fajardo I think the only rule is: do what is good for you and your family, if it means you have to (or need to or want) to work it just as good as a mother (father) who stays at home
Amanda Anderson Jeanette I always enjoy your blog after working all day and coming home and taking care of my kid and it's my time to wind down. Sounds like someone is jealous of how awesome you are for being an amazing mom, hard worker and can still find time to do something you love... You put a smile on my face daily with your blog. Keep doing what you do.. Xoxo
Charlene M. Gold I'm a working mom & currently the main provider. I have some help, but at this moment I am the glue that makes everything stick. Matter fact, I still manage to have business & pleasure & that to some may seem "dangerous", but I am responsible & ultimately the one that makes things happen. If we didn't have individuality, what more to our purpose? Some moms are stay at home moms, fortunately, but for those who have to work, I actually find it to be a privilege as well as challenge, however it pushes me & affirms that I have a strong purpose to fulfill. It is dangerous to be idle, so if the kids are in school, that's when mom cld maybe work part time or take up some classes and/or activities. What a blessing to be a mom, but we weren't put on this Earth to just be a mom. Emily, btw, love how you write as well, & love how you bring all us gals together! Love & miss you ladies. I will def subscribe to Jeannette's blog as well. Blessed day to you all!
Seriously, I have no words. Love and support from my followers, friends and family have gotten me here and I couldn't be more grateful. So all I can say is THANK YOU. Thank you all so very much.
*Emily's letter was used and edited with permission and will be used in a separate post as a feature on it's own.
*All comments shown were used with permission and were not edited.